Thursday, December 24, 2009

Say it with bike parts…

The holiday commercials showing this season might as well be draped in sugary maple syrup, candy coated dots, and whip cream. There is NOTHING more un-original than a couple sitting under a tree with some poor guy presenting a diamond crusted bobble to delight his lady. She always acts surprised when in fact, we all know she probably tore the page out of a catalogue and placed it inside his suit pocket. These commercials are the bane of my holiday television enjoyment, interrupting the merriment of The Grinch. I think it sets a standard that women are only impressed by expensive, diamond-studded gifts. (Note you rarely see a woman giving a guy anything…because that might be showcasing a partnership….and commercials would rather bore us with traditional gender roles). I digress.

Certainly, jewelry is something that has value both monetary and sentimental. Many women are HUGE fans of little black and blue boxes. Beyond jewelry and perhaps with MORE meaning are the many other gift ideas out there not causing mountains of debt and possible bankruptcy. There is something to be said when a friend or loved one takes the time to give a gift that has meaning and significance to the receiver. It would be ridiculous to give me Celine Dion tickets considering when I hear her music, I am sent into an unbelievable rage. This would only be entertaining if you would like to see me go into a childish tantrum with the theme music from the Titanic spewing in the background. It would be just as useless to give me candied walnuts considering they can cause death unless they have an eppy pen attached to the bow.

For women, like me, friends, family, acquaintances may be at a loss as to what to give. For the girl who is not impressed with clothing, furs, and jewels, what does that leave? I think it is OBVIOUS….BIKE PARTS….BIKE CLOTHES….BIKES. In terms of giving, they are the gifts that keep on giving…miles and miles down the road. For those that are cash strapped, considering the purchase of a $5000 bike frame may be overwhelming similar to selecting a piece of jewelry that you may have to finance for 64-months in order to take home. Thankfully, the best gifts are those little gifts that make the bike and the rider happy. Special note: Even if you think it is a stupid gift…the receiver does not, promise.

If, in fact, there were a commercial for such a gift…it might be a little something like this.

Cue the perfectly lit Christmas Tree, crackling fire roaring in the background

Enter 2 people

Soft music (Phish or Pink Floyd) (It’s a modern take, remember?)

Person One: I hope this doesn’t suck
(handing person two a bag)

Person Two: How could it?

Person One: Because you may think it is weird
(meanwhile person two begins taking out the tissue paper, looking down into the bag)

Person Two: OH….a Chris King bottom bracket and red Hudz…you shouldn’t have—they are PERFECT!

Person One: Wipes brow with sweat rag

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